True Woman of Courage.

On Friday, September 29, 2017, during our women’s conference at Victory World Church, I was recognized as a True Woman of Courage. Although I am extremely honored to have received this award and stand alongside my beautiful Pastors, I do not feel as though I deserve this award, but others feel otherwise....& here’s why:

For two years, someone I trusted, with increasing violence, molested & raped me on a weekly basis. He instilled a deep anchored fear that if I told anyone he would kill those closest to me. He did this under the guise of love and affection, effectively stealing true love from my seven-year-old heart.

I’ve carried the impact of this trauma and lost love ever since as my heart searched for true acceptance and affection. As a teenager, I looked for acceptance as a successful student. As a young adult, I looked for acceptance through an extremely inappropriate relationship. As a “Christian”, I looked for acceptance through performance.

A couple of years ago I got baptized at Victory and the journey of healing began in that moment, the moment after burying the old me and choosing Jesus’ presence over performance.

God started uprooting every lie and traumatic thing planted in my heart and replanting truth. With each truth He planted healing and purpose. He was chasing after me, empowering me to chase after girls living in the same lies I lived in.

Today, I work with teenage girls. Some with stories darker than mine, some with different vices, but all of us in need of Jesus and a community of people to walk through this life with. I was lost and alone in my darkness and in God’s kindness he not only heals me but he gives me the ability to be what I didn’t have!

I share my story to encourage you, whoever is reading this, to voice your pain. Whatever “it” was is not your fault. Whoever “he/she” is does not deserve the power to control you. You are an overcomer. You can receive freedom. You are a warrior. God has truly placed on my heart to share my story - globally (you can read more about my story in my earlier blog post, Scars). If you know anyone who could use help in this area please share my blog with them.