I got married!

Yup. You read that correctly, I got married. If you read my last post titled 29 then you know that my last year of life felt like a war I didn’t think I would win. But despite it all, I was super excited about turning 30 years old.

In just 6 short months, Jesus turned my life completely upside down. At the beginning of January 2019 I was single and NOT ready to mingle, lol. But, by the end of January, I had found the one whom my soul loves (Song of Solomon 3:4). And in the first week of March we had our wedding date set—June 8, 2019. But, that’s another blog post.

This post is dedicated to the thing’s marriage has taught me so far. I believe this is important to write in a blog post because society paints this terrible picture of marriage but God created marriage to reflect Him. And it is important for me, to share with you, about the beauty of marriage. No, I am not lost in the clouds and believe that we will never have rough patches or seasons, but what I know is that Jesus still makes all things beautiful.

So, after our first week of marriage my husband and I sat down and discussed what I like to call our “high fives” and “low fives.” Meaning, 5 things we love about marriage and 5 not so great things about marriage. Here is my list (in no particular order):

High Fives

· Coming home to him :)

· Laughing hysterically

· Our conversations about life, family, God, etc.

· The tangible representation of knowing that God is protecting me

· Sex. I mean….let’s be real here people.

Low Fives

· The AC is going to be the death of me. Y’all I’m pretty sure my husband would sleep in a 90* house if he could

· Sleeping in a queen size bed, when you’re used to having the entire bed to yourself. Sidenote: if you’re about to get married and going on a honeymoon, get the same size bed that you have at home. You will get spoiled and then come home to reality. Lol

· Not being able to hide my flaws, especially about my body. I was hesitant on putting this on the list because even though I should be happy that someone loves every curve (and roll lol) of me, I still get extremely self-conscious.

· That’s it. I didn’t have 5 :)

A few days ago, a friend of mine asked me “what’s the biggest adjustment you’ve had to get used to” and I didn’t have an answer at the time. But, after thinking about it, my biggest adjustment wouldn’t be the bed, the AC, having another human to consider, etc. but it would be having to position myself to receive the tangible love that God has for me on a daily basis.

My husband is amazing. I don’t just say that. I legit mean it. The bible talks about Christ loving the church, grace, mercy, forgiveness, compassion, etc. but I never thought I would have all those qualities in my husband. But, I do. And every single day God uses him to show me just how much he loves me. From leaving small notes in my lunchbox, to opening my door, to walking all the way downstairs to get me something out the kitchen, to speaking life over me when I begin to speak death over myself, to sacrificing his body to be cold so that I am comfortable in our home and so much more.

I share all of this to say to any woman or man who may read this post that you are worth it. You are worth the wait, the frustration, the confusion, the high standards, the time, and everything in between. You. Are. Worth. It. God does not want you to settle for Ishmael when he has Isaac on the way.

I’m no relationship expert, but here’s what I know from my experiences: if you’re in a relationship that has a lot of bickering, yelling, verbal abuse (this is something not always easily seen, but if he/she talks negatively about you, curses you out, belittles you...this is verbal abuse), you don’t have fun together, your arguments last days/weeks, forgiveness is not easily extended, he/she doesn’t know if they want to be with you but wants all the qualities of a girl/boyfriend in you, etc. then you may want to take a step back from that relationship. No, I can’t tell you if he/she may be the one (only you and God can determine that), but I can give you tools on determining who is NOT the one. And you’ll thank me later.

I want for you to receive all that you deserve, all that God has for you. And honey that takes time. I’m sure you’ve heard of the saying “stop waiting for the one and start becoming the one worth finding.” Do that sis! Do that bro! Everyone around you may be getting married, but that doesn’t mean you’ve lost out. It doesn’t mean God has forgotten about you. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It simply means that your story is still in the process of being written. Don’t rush the process. Don’t settle for less than. If you do, you might just end up with Ishmael instead of Isaac.