29.

Today is my last day being a 29-year-old. This is going to sounds crazy to most of you, but I am so ready for 30. You see, my 29th year of living has been one of the toughest adult years. I was telling a friend earlier that this year felt like war...and I wasn't sure if I was going to survive at times.

I walked into my apartment for the last time today (because I moved). I immediately burst out into tears. I mean, full blown sobs, uncontrollable tears, snot and all. You see, that apartment may be just an apartment to the people who move in after me and even before me. But to me, it was a battle ground.

I was placed in the furnace....the same one as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.....except they got out while I felt abandoned, lost, forgotten. I walked on the water and drowned. I said yes to God without knowing the mission, but so desperately wanted to retract my yes. The foundations I stood on for years were shaken and the land as I knew it was swept from under my feet. The walls of Jericho that I built around my heart crumbled and I felt unprotected.

But.

Although I started year 29 play fighting with the enemy and dancing around in the fields, I ended year 29 giving my all. Blood. Sweat. And tears. Despite every battle, attack, misstep, wrong turn, 3rd degree burn, disease, weapon, I stood. I stayed. Walking out of that apartment felt like Jesus saying to me, "well done, my good and faithful servant."

I don't know what 30 holds. But gosh, I cannot wait. So, for any of you out there that has felt anything I described above...know that you are not alone in this fight. You may begin the war as a recruit, but you will end the war as a veteran.

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