Sticks and Stones..

…may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. You know the saying. My mom used to say this to me all the time growing up when I would come home and tell her what someone said to me at school. At first, I would just roll with what she said and tell myself that what so and so said didn’t hurt my feelings. But, as I got older I realized that what my mom said was not true. In fact, what so and so said hurt my feelings a lot. I remember thinking that something was wrong with me because what people said about me and to me would make me cry silently in my room at night.

But nothing was wrong with me.

You see, words DO affect people and how they see themselves, feel, think, act, react, etc. Some people like to tell themselves that they aren’t affected, but truly they are. God gave us power in our tongue. Proverbs 18:21 says, “the tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Most people know that verse, but what they may not recall is right before that in verse 19 – “an offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars” (NLT). When you put all of that together in context, Solomon (the author of the text) warned us that what comes out of your mouth has the ability to bring life to people or bring death to people. In other words, you can lift someone up or you can put them down…with just your words.

Verse 19 actually caught me off guard because I have been on both sides of the fence—I have been the friend who got offended and the friend who caused the offense. I had to think really hard before I typed this, but I can confidently say that it was more so the words I said or the words someone said to me that caused the offense between us than an actual incident. I can replay situations in my head where someone DID something to me that offended or hurt me, but it didn’t cause as much damage to me as what so and so might have said to me. I can remember more things that were said to and about me than I can remember things that were done to me. Crazy, right?

So, what’s coming out of your mouth? Are you speaking life to people or are you the one speaking death and building the gate with locked bars between you and a friend? Sure, we all have moments and say things we don’t mean. But, what’s coming out of your mouth THE MOST?! I challenge you to speak life into every person and situation that you encounter. You have so much power and you may not even know it…well, until now. So, the next time you get in that moment where you know you want to say something mean or nasty, remember YOU HAVE THE POWER TO SPEAK LIFE. And, not only that, but whatever fruit (words) you’re planting is the fruit you’ll end up eating.