He's never failing.

Failure. Shame. Regret. Anger. Disappointment. Unworthy. Frustration. Hopeless. Those are some of the feelings I felt these past few weeks. If you read a few blog posts back, you’ll see I quit my job back in February because God told me to. I knew I not only heard Him tell me to quit, but I received so much confirmation. I was living on the mountain excited for what was to come, but then a few months later I found myself in the valley. You see, in ONE day I received 5 phone calls informing me that the sales (real estate) I was working on ALL fell through. Yes, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. I was getting anxious because I saw the $200 I had left in my bank account dwindle to dang near zero because I had to pay my real estate fees that same day. I began to do what so many of us do in this situation—complain, worry and try to figure things out on my own. That’s when all the lies started to come. The devil began to speak to me about all the areas in my life that I was a failure at—the relationship I thought was my last, my friends I thought I’d always have by my side, my job at my church that I love so much, my women’s ministry that I just started, my purpose in life, a daughter and a child of God. I was so confused as to why God would allow this to happen when I so clearly heard him tell me to leave. I tried my hardest to ignore those lies Satan whispered daily, but the more I ignored them, the more they affected other people I encountered. You see, I thought ignoring them was equivalent to taking my thoughts captive and not giving the devil a way in. But instead, it was altering the way I treated other people, my focus on the sheep God brought into my life, and most importantly, my relationship with my Father. Luckily, God placed people in my life who can see through my mask and were able to fight for me when I was too weak to fight for myself. They listened to me, allowed me to embrace and share my feelings, acknowledged my situation, responded in love and finished with His truth. From then, I was able to walk in the truth and move past my bushel of feelings. My situation hasn’t changed, but my perspective has. Yes, I may not have anything in my checking account, but the joy and love God has placed in my heart far outweighs anything monetary. I share this post not to receive empathy, but because there is someone out there who may be going through a similar situation. Your bank account may be in the negative, your spirit may even be down, but I am here to tell you that there is a power far greater than anything you can think or imagine. There is a power that can turn your valley into a mountain top. Joy, peace, light and love can be found in darkness. He promises to give you rest. Change your perspective and you’ll change your route (my version of Proverbs 23:7). Whoever you are out there, hold on just a little bit longer. God is a God of promise. He does not lie. He does not change. He does not forget. The road has not and will not be easy, but it is so rewarding. I want to leave you with lyrics from Take Courage by Bethel Music that my Papa in his most loving spirit, sung over me today…

Slow down, take time. Breathe in He said. He'd reveal what's to come. The thoughts in His mind always higher than mine. He'll reveal all to come. Take courage, my heart. Stay steadfast, my soul. He's in the waiting. And hold onto your hope as your triumph unfolds. He's never failing Sing praise, my soul. Find strength in joy. Let His words lead you on. Do not forget His great faithfulness. He'll finish all He's begun. So take courage, my heart. Stay steadfast, my soul. He's in the waiting. And hold onto your hope as your triumph unfolds. He's never failing. And You who hold the stars, who call them each by name, will surely keep your promise to me that I will rise, in Your victory! So take courage, my heart. Stay steadfast, my soul. He's in the waiting. And hold onto your hope as your triumph unfolds. He's never failing.